Because, somehow, this might end up being for the best

I was really happy with the reading of 'Jim...' the other night. Esther and I have so much work to do, I've written a beast there, I arrogantly think, but it'll only be a beast if we put the hours in.

The car stuff is just a distraction. After Wednesday's frankly horrible conclusion, I lost all of Thursday trying to deal with it - it turns out if you have a car that has just been dumped back on your driveway but is totally dead, it's quite tough to get it to the garage. I had a lot of time in on Thursday, I couldn't get anywhere, I should have used it to write. By Friday, a tow truck had got my car to the garage and at midday I had a call saying the car was totally dead...metal trimmings in my oil, my gearbox had died. Three thousand pounds to fix, not worth it, graveyard to a frankly awful car that cost me £12,000 three and a bit years ago and never felt right. There was always something. 

I lost two full days of teaching on Thursday/Friday as I couldn't get anywhere, apart from a couple of walkable lessons. Poor Freddie dog; whenever I get stressed, he gets a mega long walk.

My father-in-law, a remarkable, wonderful man, very kindly lent me his car for Saturday so I could still work, teaching 8 lessons in various places. The car was worth £20,000 and I have never driven so carefully. I think I was nervous throughout the whole day. Nice cars aren't for me. 

Played a lovely gig with the blues band on Thursday night at a retirement village, which is basically a very fancy care home, and then a lovely pub gig on Saturday night. Playing gigs is great, you just switch off, play songs with your mates and get paid for it. The blues band itself was a random accident a few years back, I only stepped in to play one gig but I'm still there. 

Alongside the teaching, the gigging and the car stuff, I also had a show to write. Play number four of the year, and, let's be honest, the last for a while. I'd been chipping away at it for a while, but tonight we finally had the first reading of 'The Second' which heads to Brighton in 7 weeks. My lovely little cast of Paul, Alex and Nicole read through it this evening, alongside myself and regular ally, soundman Alan, who has been working with me loyally for so long now. I was writing it till 4am one night, and for the last few nights, post-gigs, I've been up till 2am. I finished writing it at 3am, and then had a quick tweak of it this afternoon before we all met up. My brain does strange things when it's tired, and that's reflected in the script, but it seems to work this way. It's a bonkers piece, it goes all over the place, but it all ties up rather well. The cast seemed really into it tonight, so much laughter in that room. It's a goodun. That's four shows I've written this year, all of them are very different. I feared this would be the first dud, but the enthusiasm of others has helped assure me otherwise.

But, you know, it's all been rather exhausting. I love writing, but this one felt like I had to push it over the line a bit. Don't get me wrong, as a concept it's really fun, but I left it late, I was struggling a bit. All worthwhile when the cast bring it to life, of course. I think my brain needs a little breather now.

Anyway, back to the car stuff. Five stressful days. Obviously, I need to work, I need a car. I was kindly offered a loan for as much as I'd need for another nice car from family. But I had a nice, expensive car last time and that didn't work out. Instead, today I went out and bought a cheap one, a goodun, but cheap. It's 15 years old, but with a good history. It instantly felt like a Paul Richards car when I started driving it. Paul Richards before he bought the nice one over three years ago and got a bit materialistic. I don't mind (too much) if I scratch this car, it's old and was quite cheap. I keep thinking back to the France trip and that lift with Livia. Small car, not at all glamorous, but full of creativity and love. I always felt pressured having a 'nice' car, and whenever I scraped it, which was quite often, I always felt guilty. When, in reality, I just wanted a reliable car that allows me to have adventures. I think I've got that now, in a weird way, it may have happened for the best. 

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